kristin has been a bad kristin
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
