He is an equal opportunity slut.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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