Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
