Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
