so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Is Oprah even human
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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