Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
