Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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