i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
