Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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