I just made out with a guy for $7.
i think my tv is drunk
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
