then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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