Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Is it penis luge time yet?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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