so that wasnt chicken after all
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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