dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
