He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
