I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
