i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
