is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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