I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
