If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
