im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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