last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
