Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
