hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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