My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
