dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
