I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
MIDGETS
????
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
