I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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