she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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