and you said cock pushups were impossible
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
