oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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