I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Yo dont text me then not text me
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
