i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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