sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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