i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
