There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
