We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
