just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
