i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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