The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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