Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she pinky promised me she was 18
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
