Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
