I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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