i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
