Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
