so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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