and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
