Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
