Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
