So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
