what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
we're so committed to being not committed
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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